Freeing from oneself:
Often people went on being the same person through life, which is completely fine. But there are also people who go on to being the same person throughout their life, constantly fighting it, constantly trying to be not that person. It sounds horrible and it can be a bad experience, trying hard for one thing throughout your life, safe to say every moment, and not getting there. Most of us know what is bad and what is good. It may vary from person to person but we all have an idea of what is good and bad. Most of our decisions and moments/time are spent making the right ones. Deep down we all want to make good decisions, at least for ourselves. But no matter how hard we try and how strictly we adhere to these rules, it doesn’t seem to pay what a righteous rule must bring to the table. Sometimes we follow what is supposed to be good but it does not even feel better, other times we get mad we feel betrayed that we have followed all there is to be in the right direction, to be the right person and what do we get in return? We still end up feeling shitty, bad, exhausted and stressed from figuring out what is the right thing to do and pulling ourselves through all that experience. And no matter how hard we tried, no matter how tough it got for us we get nothing of sorts that makes us good about the decisions we take. Say, you tried to help somebody because that is what you are supposed and there is nothing, you don’t get paid back by the friend you landed money to, people don’t care to return the favor when you helped them in need. You still give it try after try until you are fed up. You feel so mad and exhausted you want to have nothing to do with anyone anymore that is if you can let it go, if not there is always getting back to them one way or the other. There is a tiny possibility that this is the reason society at large is accused by people of making their life miserable cause we are good, but the way it is supposed to be or taught to be is not how it works.
Now if we look into the idea of good and bad, right and wrong if there is one thing for certain we all have it. We might have acquired it from our guardians, people around us, strangers who were kind enough to share their words, or on our own from how we felt in different situations, like a stray animal being abused, being at the receiving end of something terrible. We all have an outline that guides us throughout life and sometimes even if we don’t want to follow it, that doesn’t come easy. There is a push, a doing which feels like forcing ourselves to do something we don’t/are not sure to want to, and even if we are unsure we will do it cause breaking that thing that feels like is somehow responsible for our misery (some people might even feel like who are they fighting anyway). If this comes from a logical and understanding conversation there are questions, and confusions challenging whole life as you know it, and questions that make us look like fools in our own eyes for a while because it is challenging everything ever done.
At first, obviously, it looks like nothing, it’s like ice cream to a kid or drinking water for an adult. How can it be bad? But it does control and influence our lives. It is one of the things we are most attached to, it defines us because deep down we all are good and this proves that. We are guarded and fearful of this idea because if this idea is challenged, we are challenged, us being good is challenged, the way we have lived life is challenged, some may argue, our existence is challenged, and result, anger. But what we have learned doesn’t rhymes with us, some get it over soon, some keep fighting, and some give in and call it like these are the ones who have understood that to be at ease with things is necessary for them and they keep doing what they feel is right and doesn’t bother with how it comes up later, not a bad idea. This is just the beginning, the tendencies change to wanting other people to act the way one seems right because that is right for them, it is what was essential for them throughout their life. This is how it should be done or it becomes a challenge, to the person and his being.
Now if we look into the idea of good and bad, right and wrong if there is one thing for certain we all have it. We might have acquired it from our guardians, people around us, strangers who were kind enough to share their words, or on our own from how we felt in different situations, like a stray animal being abused, being at the receiving end of something terrible. We all have an outline that guides us throughout life and sometimes even if we don’t want to follow it, that doesn’t come easy. There is a push, a doing which feels like forcing ourselves to do something we don’t/are not sure to want to, and even if we are unsure we will do it cause breaking that thing that feels like is somehow responsible for our misery (some people might even feel like who are they fighting anyway). If this comes from a logical and understanding conversation there are questions, and confusions challenging whole life as you know it, and questions that make us look like fools in our own eyes for a while because it is challenging everything ever done.
At first, obviously, it looks like nothing, it’s like ice cream to a kid or drinking water for an adult. How can it be bad? But it does control and influence our lives. It is one of the things we are most attached to, it defines us because deep down we all are good and this proves that. We are guarded and fearful of this idea because if this idea is challenged, we are challenged, us being good is challenged, the way we have lived life is challenged, some may argue, our existence is challenged, and result, anger. But what we have learned doesn’t rhymes with us, some get it over soon, some keep fighting, and some give in and call it like these are the ones who have understood that to be at ease with things is necessary for them and they keep doing what they feel is right and doesn’t bother with how it comes up later, not a bad idea. This is just the beginning, the tendencies change to wanting other people to act the way one seems right because that is right for them, it is what was essential for them throughout their life. This is how it should be done or it becomes a challenge, to the person and his being.
Now to the solution, which is supposed to be this complex web of logic but fortunately like most of the great things in life come from logic so simple it is unbelievable that it can be actually an answer to timeless hardships for everyone. In certain situations, certain things seem right, in others, the same things might feel different, the aspect that covers all of life as we know it. Turning down a friend might seems not good, but even if not provided with help it doesn’t need to define anyone as bad at least. But this is exactly how it works, putting everything into black and white while life is different shades of grey. So in the few scenarios discussed this clearly doesn’t seem to work. It deprives us of feeling good if doing good doesn’t even make us feel good as you might not feel like helping this friend because you don’t feel like it. You don’t know exactly what but it doesn’t feel like it. Maybe they are not as old or you haven’t reached that level with them or simply they don’t have your trust. So what do you do? You go along with what feels right at the moment, you go with doing what makes you feel better, you do it for you, you do it cause you felt like it and don’t judge yourself. The whole idea of right and wrong is about judging oneself, judging from another person’s perspective, judging from society’s perspective, what it should be, and judging from what you felt should it be 2 years ago. Contradict yourself contradict everybody be who you are in the moment, be what makes you feel better, not the idea of you but true you, be you! And if it means having skeletons in your basement (RE: skeletons in your closet) then be it but it should make you feel good/happy or better and not give you a rip-off version of it.
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